Birth of Harper Mae Donegan

Mar1

You are here, and with quite a bit of fanfare! I made the publish time of this post exactly when you entered the world, but am obviously writing it after the fact. However, although this is not immediately after I remember it as well as anything in my life.

Harper Mae Donegan

Born 5:18pm; St. Luke’s Hospital; 5 lbs 12 oz

You were born healthy and everything went according to plan…almost. Let me back up a bit.

Your mom started getting contractions a couple days ago. She has read that if you can breath during the contraction, and that he threshold of pain was tolerable to about a 6 on your personal pain scale, that there is no reason to go to the hospital. This was of course spot on (knowing your mom this should be no surprise), but the problem was that the contractions lasted for over two days.

Besides this being really uncomfortable for your mom, it removed any chance that she would be able to sleep well before labor. As you will find out someday it is an extremely exhausting process and not just a painful one. By the time we went to the hospital she had slept probably 8 hours over the last 48. Finally, at about 5am on March 1, we decided it was time to head that way. We packed up everything and headed to the hospital.

This was taken around 10pm the night before you were born.

When we got to the hospital the first thing they do is check to see how dilated the woman is and if it warrants bringing them into the delivery room. When we arrived your mom was right around 4 cm dilated, which didn’t warrant bringing her to a room just yet (I believe 5-6 cm is when you are admitted). Being that she was progressing, rather than head home and wait the nurses suggested we go for about an hour long walk. We got on our jackets and proceeded out into the night (remember, was still about 5:30am).

Not to get too sentimental here, but this was an hour of my life I will never forget. When you read this I have no idea what will be happening in our lives, but I will tell you now that spending an hour walking around downtown Boise when no one was out and you about to be born is one of the fondest memories I have , and one that I will keep with me forever. We held hands, talked about how excited we were about you coming, talked about how much the next many hours was going to suckkkkk, and for the first time really realized that we would leave that day or someday soon with a child.

Sidenote: I forgot to mention that we had not completely decided on your name at this point. I had totally made u my mind, and I think your mom had as well, but neither had said without a doubt that it would be Harper. Your mom wanted to see you first and then decide, but in my head you were a Harper regardless. Anyway, when you came out I saw what I already knew and I think your mom did as well. You were totally a Harper.

After about an hour we went back in and took another measurement, and your mom had reached 6 cm and was moved into a room.

I wish I had taken some pictures of the room, but it was your normal room. Was actually pretty nice and good sized. We got in there and began to wait.

As I mentioned earlier your mom had not slept in a couple of days and was deliberating whether to get epidural. After some pushing (not too much, but some) she accepted it was a good idea to get one. This would help her relax and even sleep a little as she would need energy when labor began. The next 10 hours went by pretty fast.

We had been seeing a doctor throughout the pregnancy named Dr. West. He was awesome (dude wore Vans to all our appointments, plus he had gone to UA). Your mother and I both loved him. Unfortunately he had been on an all night shift the night before and was not available to deliver you, so we were given another doctor. As it turned out, she then got locked up with another birth and we were at the last minute switched to yet another doctor. This was obviously all a bit stressful.

Finally it was time for mom to start pushing, and this lasted about 30-45 minutes. After a long awaited arrival, you were finally here!

I mentioned fanfare. Well, when you came out you weren’t actually breathing. Nice work. What had happened was you inhaled meconium (I will let you read more on this if interested) just before you came out. When you were born was the first time the doctors knew that it might be a problem as none of the test showed anything. You were handed to your mom to hold, and then quickly brought over to a table in the room where NICU doctors rushed in to help. Your mother, even in her exhaustion, was immediately concerned and focused on you and your health. I was as well, to a great degree, but I also had not just gone through what she had.

The doctors had you breathing within about a minute, which was a great sign, but they had to take you over to the NICU for further observation. Hopefully you will never experience this, but having your child whisked off to an intensive care unit minutes after they are born is just about the last thing you are expecting or want to happen. There is nothing that can be done to prepare for something like this, so it leaves you in utter shock.

After ensuring your mom was ok and healthy, I headed off to the NICU to check on you. When I got there they had you hooked up to a number of machines and were checking everything about you. Your breathing, heart rate, fluid levels, brain activity, etc… Again, nothing you can ever prepare for. I brought my mom (assuming you call her Nonnie) with me while Mia stayed with your mom.

Luckily, after running a variety of tests, within about 45 minutes they deemed you were healthy and ready to be released. They commented on how fast they were able to ensure your state.

Something happened just after that caught be not only by surprise but frightened me to a great degree. I realized at that time I had never held a baby. I know. How does that happen? Well, it’s true. I think I may have held your cousin Abby when she was really young but that it is and I am not sure I even did. When you were born the doctor handed you to your mom, bypassing me and therefore it didn’t occur to me at that time. Now that you were fine, they turned to me with you in hand. As I hope by this time you know, I do not get intimidated easily…but in this moment I about shit myself. I turned to my mom and then back to the doctors and just came out with honesty “I have never held a baby.” Fortunately, the doctors did not judge but instead helped me through. Support the neck, hold against your body, rock her where some of the pieces of advice. I took it, and for the first time I was holding you and looking into your beautiful blue eyes. I cannot describe the feeling, and I tear up as I write this. I all the sudden understood how you can love something you barely know. It is a surreal experience, but looking at you knowing you were mine both in kin and responsibility was life-changing.

After this everything changed. Everything.

After I got hold of you I started sharing you among the others. Nonnie held you next as she was with me. I was surprised at how maternal she was, had never seen that side before but she was in love immediately.

Next I brought you back to the room where you were born, and where Mia and your mom could hold you. Mia for the first time and your mom for the first time since being cleared.

We didn’t get a pic of your mom the day you were born (which she apparently is thankful for) but we started taking many the next day. This one is my favorite.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what you looked like here are a few mug shots for you.

To be perfectly honest, what followed all this I do not remember. There were rooms we went into, paperwork filed, washing, training, sleeping, eating and a bunch of other stuff. We spent the next two days in the hospital pretty much learning how to not kill you (that’s a bit of an exaggeration). After two days there going over everything from breastfeeding to how to properly install your carseat (which will be hilarious to see this if it is anything like the difference between the one I saw in pictures that I used as a baby and the ones now, it will be completely different) we packed up the car and headed home. I have never driven so slowly and carefully.

Your birth went very much according to plan, but to us it seemed like a complete circus. In retrospect we were lucky to have it go as smoothly as it did. You are finally here and the fun begins now.

Love you very much…and am so happy to FINALLY have met you! Enjoy some pics from the time we were in the hospital!

Tomorrow!

Feb19

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

You are going to be here anytime now! Due date, Feb. 20, is tomorrow if you can believe it which I cannot. That being said, we are as ready as we possibly could be!

Mom just left the doctor and she is still not dilated so looks like it will be another few days. She is handling it like a champ though.

Gotta run but wanted to check in. Love you and can’t wait to meet you!

Love,

Dad

Your Mattress is Here!

Jan15

Among the things that occurred today, your mattress did in fact arrive! There was a bit of scrutiny over which one to get you, as your mother (of course) wanted the most expensive and organic and everything below the sun in the mattress. I was a bit more reasonable, and we got you one in the 90th percentile, so to speak, as opposed to the ultimate, and most expensive, version. Here it is in case you don’t remember.

As a matter of fact if you do remember, I will be a little freaked out.

Anyway, wanted to extend the description of your nursery at the current time. Right now you have a crib, dresser, bookcase, picnic table (yes a picnic table), outfits that will fit you until you are nearly 2 years old, a glider chair and a bunch of creepy dolls that are from your mother’s childhood. In addition we have a bunch of presents from the baby shower that your mom’s friends threw for her.

The shower, which occurred just after Christmas, brought in some great gifts and just as many crappy ones.

Over the coming days we will get a variety of other items that we ordered off of Amazon and I will do my best to update as they come in.

Just for reference, your mother is 35 weeks tomorrow. As things stand that means that you could come at any minute. Any time from 34-37 weeks people have been known to deliver, although Dr. West says that she is right on schedule.

We also did a hospital tour last night so that I know where to take your mom when she goes into labor, so we are covered on that front. This is becoming a bit of a rant, so I am going to sign off.

We cannot wait to meet you!

Love,

Dad

Been Way Too Long

Jan15

Right now it is 12:33am on the 15th of January…and wow has time flown by. Let’s tackle this efficiently, and first let me list the developments and afterwards go into the details of each:

2014-01-14 19.21.53

You are a GIRL!!!
You are obscenely healthy (thanks to your mom who has been unbelievable during her pregnancy)
You are still expected February 20th (NEXT MONTH!!!)
The nursery has seen some major progress.
Your mom is 34 weeks along!

Let’s first start with the reason why I have not posted in so long. Work has been unreal. I recently got a promotion, which is awesome, but has lead to doing more than normal. The good part: I love my job.

Now let’s address the major items, like the fact that you are a girl!!! We could not be more excited. Let me throw this out now, no dating until 25. In addition, you will likely be spoiled simply because I spoil your mother and will likely accelerate that with you. Finally, I am hoping you will be a Daddy’s girl simply because, well, I love you more already than I can explain and can’t imagine not being close.

As far as your health, our doctor, Dr. West, is consistently shocked with how well you are progressing. There have been no issues with you in the least, and your mom is healthier than anyone I know. She is constantly thinking of you and what is best for you. I am doing the same but my decision son’t necessarily affect your entrance into the world. We hear your heartbeat every time we go to the doctor and each time it is strong and on par with the expected BPM. Your mom has has to get a variety of shots, provided a number of blood samples, had to drink some glucose crap and endure a variety of other uncomfortable things (outside of gaining 25 pounds which she carries all day every day of course) and has not complained in the least. She is a rockstar, and should be commended.

You are right on schedule. The doctor does this measurement thing where he basically measures from the bottom of the uterus to her belly button (I may have totally butchered that) and is has you right on schedule. He also projects that you will be around 7 pounds.

Dude, the nursery is looking sick! We spent a grand over the weekend buying adornments for the space but it is truly coming together. I also spent all last weekend painting the shelves, and the prior weekend painting the bookcase. Your mom spent about 2 days just cleaning the dresser (a bit over the top IMO, but you will learn about this). The majority of the items that are remaining will be arriving in the coming days, which is extremely exciting. As you can see it is still looking a bit plain, but I will add new pic very soon.

34 weeks!!!

At this point in the pregnancy you could come at any time and be perfectly healthy. The doctor projects that most first time mothers are around 5 days late, but really could happen anytime.

I promise to continue updating as frequently as possible, but the bottom line is that you will be here soon and we could not be more excited!

I love you very much and cannot wait to meet you

Love,

Dad

It’s been busy!

Sep25

Things got BUSY!

Work is kicking my ass, but at the same time we are doing a lot on the house in order to get ready for your arrival. Here is a quick synopsis on major happenings occurred and in the near future:

We find out your gender a week from today!
We are having a reveal party in Sun Valley for all of mom’s friends next Friday
We have a wedding next Saturday, my cousin Elizabeth is getting married
We finally got blinds in the house, it changed the whole place
I painted your room this past weekend, just primer, to get ready for when we find out
We are buying some furniture to help fill the house
We had another meeting with the doc earlier this month, you are healthy as can be
- Also had testing done for any mental or physical defects, and you are good to go
UA Football is 3-0, Dallas Cowboys are 2-1, Atlanta Braves won the NL East and are getting ready for the playoffs!

OK, so now that you are caught up, let’s move forward. The big piece of that is that we get to find out what you are next week! We have been taking guesses, and the high majority think you are a boy, including me. We picked out paints for either, one is blue the other pink, and have not really discussed names.

Mom is starting to show, and sears she has felt you kick a few times! Here is a pic of how she looks now, very cute if you ask me:

I promise to update more in the future. Cannot wait to meet you!

Love, Dad

My Friends Are Trying to Steal the Vote!

Sep6

It’s been a couple weeks since I have had the chance to update things, but to be honest not much is going on. We did have another appointment yesterday, which went extremely well.

The doctor took the heartbeat, no ultrasound this time, and your beat was at 160 BPM. This caused Dr. West to pull out the old wive’s tale that the fast heartbeat says that you will be a girl. We have exercised pretty much every old wive’s tale, and every other one says you are a boy. It is a crapshoot!

One thing exciting that has happened is that you started receiving (or we started receiving) gifts! My buddies Mike and Aaron each sent something, and, well, they are hoping that they may sway your college decision before you are even born. Here are the pics:

The top image is from Mike, and pretty damn cool. The bottom image is from Aaron, and is awesome as well.

This will be a fun game between your mom and I, and currently I am in the lead! Just for the record, I don’t care where you go to college as long as you are happy. You can go to UofA or USC or any other college in the world and we will be proud of you (as long as it’s not ASU, and your mom would say the same about UCLA but that is a great school so it’s ok). But you are going to have some awesome college gear, both UofA and USC, by the time you get here and probably afterward as well.

Switching gears, your mom and I are going to go look at some paint colors this weekend for your room. We still don’t know your gender so we are going to go choose colors for both a guy and girl in order to be prepared. Boppie is going to be here the day that we find out your gender, and that weekend him and I will be painting your room! After that happens, let the madness begin. Decoration in all ways will commence.

Cannot wait to know what you are, but even more so cannot wait to meet you. It’s getting closer every day!

Love, Dad

Mom & Dad #1: How We Met

Aug21

By the time you read these, I may be a bit old to remember the details of how your mother and I came to be. My memory is not bad, although your mom would argue this fact to the death, and I still have a vivid picture of how things went.

I am going to do these posts in order, and will span them out to cover different monumental moments. This is the first in the series…how we met.

How We Met

First, let’s get this out of the way, your mom was 15 when I met her and I was 18. This is not a practice that I encourage, so don’t ever use this as justification. It was December of 2002 in Tucson, and your mom was visiting with her best friend who happened to be Cousin Elizabeth. There were the same age, and went to school together in Sun Valley. It was just a few days before the new year, maybe the 29th, and they were staying through the 3rd or so.

I had graduated high school in May of that year, and was back in Tucson after attending Eastern Arizona University for a semester to play baseball. I was burnt out on playing and would be attending Pima Community College in the spring in preparation for UA. This was during winter break.

Elizabeth had already been down for a little while and mom was flying in just for a few days. She almost never made it actually. Mom and Mia were driving to Boise for the flight in winter conditions when their car spun out on the road and they hit a snow embankment. Luckily they were not hurt, but had to be towed out and mom missed her flight. They almost turned around, which possibly would have changed both our lives forever, but she was able to jump on another flight.

Now, this is going to sound really corny but I swear it is the truth. I was working at a restaurant at the time, Old Pueblo Grill, as a bus boy. Part of the job was also doing security in the parking lot once a week or so. That night, I came home as I had recently moved back and was staying with Boppie while looking for a place, and your mom was there. I swear, no joke, the minute I saw your mom I knew I was in trouble.

She was there in jeans and a cute shirt, I has been patrolling a parking lot and was in a grey sweater and jeans and looked like a bum. I met your mom at the kitchen table and knew instantly that we had a connection. She did not have the same strong feeling, although she definitely had an interest me, but we instantly hit it off. Your mom was reserved and smiled a lot, she was just perfect.

Here was the problem, I had a girlfriend. I was still dating who ended up being my high school sweetheart, her name was Annie. We had been together, on and off, for about 3 years and since I had moved back we had been together and moving pretty quickly in terms of plans. Annie was a year younger than me, still a high school senior, and was really my first love. We had been through a lot together and really couldn’t imagine our lives without each other.

When I met your mom, she changed all that overnight…

I know it sounds ridiculous, but there was a shift in my feelings immediately. All I could think about is your mom, all I could dream about was finding a way to get her, and being the person I am that doesn’t give up on something they want I began to court her.

How Things Progressed

The days leading up to New Year’s Eve we talked, but she was really consumed with doing stuff with my sister and Elizabeth. I did get to see her here and there. I actually blew off a date with Annie one of those nights, saying that I was going to a movie with my dad, and got caught as she saw him at the movie. I blew it off because I knew your mom would be coming home while I was gone, and I didn’t want to miss her.

Annie was a very intuitive person, and one of the few people in the world that could see through my bullshit. Perhaps this was because she had so much practice, but regardless she was never someone that it was easy to lie to. Annie knew from the moment she met Caroline that there was something up. She even told me that she knew I liked you mom the very first time she met her and saw me with her. Annie was not really the jealous type at this point in our relationship either, so this comment really took me by surprise. But she was right and I knew it.

The day before the new year I took the girls, not including Annie, up to Phoenix to go shopping. This was the first time I really got any decent amount of time with mom. On the ride back, everyone fell asleep. After a little while your mom woke up and we got to talk the rest of the way home. She told me about her family, where she was from, school and her ex-boyfriend. I was falling for you mom fast. That’s when new year’s eve came…

New Year’s Eve

On New Year’s Eve my best friend Mike was having a part that we were all going to. Now Mike is an awesome guy, was single at the time and a desirable dude. All week Elizabeth and my sister were working on fixing mom and him up as they were both single. Mom and Mike has a lot in common. Both came from wealthy families, both their dad’s were successful business men, both intelligent and shared a number of other similarities. On paper they were a great fit. That being said, their personalities could not be more different and they could not possibly disagree more on pretty much every social issue out there. Regardless, Mike is a smooth talker and mom was a beautiful girl.

Not mom’s best picture, but she was a little tipsy 🙂

Annie and I headed to the party a littler earlier than mom and the other girls. When they arrived, I remember this specifically, I was sitting on the counter with Annie standing between my legs and we were, well, flirting and such. Then I saw your mom. This is where any doubt about my feelings towards your mom in Annie’s eyes were put to rest, as I jumped down from the counter and went and gave your mom a big hug. This came to be known as the “prolonged hug” as Annie put it, and sent Annie into full defensive mode.

Meanwhile, Mike was working his angle on mom. Mom, and you can ask her about this as this is not just my opinion, was not really all about Mike and honestly I don’t think he was really all about her either. That being said, it was New Year’s Eve and decisions are not always thought through.

The night continued on, and midnight was approaching quickly. I had a pissed of girlfriend on my hands and couldn’t help but not care as I was focusing on mom too much to care. So when there was about a minute before midnight, and Annie and I were preparing to ring in the new year, all I could think about was your mom.

The moment came and went. I kissed my girlfriend, and your mom kissed my best friend. Oddly enough, rather than upsetting me or making me sad knowing that they kissed, it hardened my resolve. Annie was a a great girl and any guy would be lucky to have her, but it was at that moment I realized that things would never be the same between us. I thought over the previous days that perhaps this infatuation I had with your mom was just that, an infatuation, and that it would pass. After this night I knew that was not the case. After this night I knew that your mom and I had something, whether she knew it yet or not, and that I couldn’t rest until I either had her or gave it my best shot. My life literally changed that night, unknowing to me at the time, and things would be different from then on out.

Your mom was leaving in 2 days, and I had to see if what I thought was there actually existed…

2 Days To Go

Annie spent the night that night, and pretty much told me that she knew I had feelings for your mom. This was emphasized when I got up and went out in to the kitchen and found your mom there and talked to her for 30 minutes just to have Annie come out mad and call me back to bed.

Really didn’t get a lot of time with mom over the next couple days, until the night before she was supposed to leave. Everyone had fallen asleep and we stayed up talking, and flirting a bit. At this point I think we both knew something was going on, but with her in Sun Valley, me in Tucson, with a girlfriend and her in high school it seemed not just improbable but impossible.

That night though, and I never recommend cheating because it is bad, but your mom and I kissed for the first time. It was January 2, 2003, and it is was confirmed, for at least me, that I couldn’t just let this go. I had to pursue your mom no matter what that meant. Elizabeth wouldn’t like it, Annie wouldn’t like it, our parents wouldn’t like it and likely nor would any of our friends; but I could care less.

This is what sparked our relationship, and out of this a tremendous amount of effort, love, sadness, anger and a number of other emotions and actions would result. Your mom left the next morning without me knowing my next move, and left me thinking about if this was really feasible. I felt like I was in love with your mom then and there, a feeling I had never experienced before and definitely not this quickly. I pondered for days about what to do, and in the next post we will go into it.

Hope this gives you some insight into just how it all started. Can’t wait to tell you more.

Love, Dad

Grandparents’ Jobs

Aug19

I remember growing up, thinking to myself that there was just no way that my grandparents could have possibly worked. By the time I came they were either retired or very close and I would hear in spotted conversations about their work history. Figure here I can give you a very real observation on each one of your grandparents as they are all currently still working. I am going to use the names that I assume you will refer to them by, but who knows if that will stick or not. Let’s start with mom’s side…

Papa – Lawyer

Papa is a Lawyer that specializes in business and real estate law. He graduated from USC undergrad, and then went to law school at Southwestern University. He has been practicing law for over 30 years at this point, and works from home. He has about 3 huge clients that he handles and also is an avid investor in real estate and some stock market.

Mia – Teacher/Real Estate/Food & Beverage/Stay-at-home-mom

Mia has done a variety of different things in her career. She graduated from USC with a degree in Political Science. She was a teacher in Palm Desert when mom was little, and once they moves to Sun Valley she took on a more motherly role. Once mom got into high school, Mia started doing real estate. She has also been with Michel for about 10 years at this point who owns a high end french restaurant in Ketchum. She helps him run the restaurant and serves as a hostess as well.

Now let’s look at my side…

Boppie – Railroad Engineer

Let me start by saying that I broke the Donegan tradition. 5 generations of Donegans had worked for the railroad, I broke the trend (always feel a bit guilty about that). Anyway, Bop is a railroad engineer meaning that he drives trains. He started working for the railroad when he was 19 years old, and will actually be retiring in March (you are due in February) and will have been there for 41 years.

Nonnie – Finance

Nonnie has been an accountant since graduating college. She graduated summa cum laude from University of Arizona with a degree in finance. She went to work for Ernst & Young straight out of college, didn’t care for the corporate world, so focused most of her career in the non-profit sector. She has been an accountant, bookkeeper, controller and even a CFO. She has a masters in education and a masters in business, and currently works for Smith Optics as an accountant (could have a higher position, but doesn’t like managing people).

That is the current status of everyone. As you can see, they kind of run the gamete in terms of diverse professions. This should be a good thing because you will have plenty of experts in various fields. Hope this will serve as a reference point for you in the future and you can avoid the confusion that I experienced.

Love, Dad

Second Ultrasound

Aug19

Last week we made our second visit to the doctor. This one consisted of another ultrasound as well as mom getting some blood work done (in addition to our billing meeting, basically paying for the whole thing which is not a fun meeting let me tell you). We haven’t got the results from the blood work back yet, but it appears that you are a healthy kid from the sonogram.

You are 2.9 inches long right now. That’s it! I’m looking at a business card on my desk right now bigger than you. But the cool part is that you are developing at a rapid rate. The first trimester, which is now complete, is the most important for a developing baby. Major complications are more likely to happen in the first 13 weeks than at any time during the pregnancy. You made it through and with flying colors!

You are developing bones. In the ultrasound we could actually see your spine, skull, fingers and toes, nose and other appendages. You were actually touching your face and kicking mom’s belly while we were watching you. It was incredible! You are growing by the day, and getting closer to the point when we can tell if you are a boy or girl.

We were also given another photo of you, this time with some labels.

As you can see you are startling to loom like a real baby. You looked so big on the screen, we couldn’t believe that you were in reality so small. You can see the pics that label the hands and there is another without a label of your toes. It was a pretty cool thing to watch.

At this point, now that everyone knows, we can share the pics of you. Our next appointment isn’t for another 3.5 weeks or so, at which point mom will get a little more blood work done. We are so excited to meet you, and soon I will update you on the preparation of your room!

Love, Dad

The word is out!

Aug17

Today we told everyone about you! This included from mom’s side: Papa, Aunt Kate, Tita and the remainder of mom’s friends. On my side we told Boppie, Aunt Madeline, my Nonnie and Boppie and all of my friends. We also put together a photo to post on the various social networks and send out to friends:

Pretty damn cute right?

Now that the word is out I am sure we will be inundated with questions and status updates, but it’s all good. Just glad that we can finally talk about it freely!

We are more excited than ever to meet you, and love you already.

Love, Dad