Since I am not giving this to you until you are 18, you should know by now that I am quite immature. You probably won’t get this movie reference either unless I have raised you right, but whenever I hear “niner” I think of it

Thinking about what I just said above, it just dawned on me that we are halfway through this story. I don’t mean that the story ends at 18 but rather that is when you will receive this.

I came up with this idea not so much out of needing to capture things to remember as you might think (your probably know by now that my memory isn’t great). I started it so that I could have a place to reflect on your life at that time in my life. What I mean is that I could go back and look at pictures and remember things that happened, but this allows me to reflect on these experiences in the moment in which they are occurring.

In life there are ups and downs, and even with you only having been in this world 9 years I have had a lot of them. I think back to the first posts I wrote, well before you were born (I don’t even remember what I said, and never go back and read them). The feelings I had about being a dad, the new experiences that came out of that time, the excitement and terror. But it would be impossible for me to properly reflect on that time as I write this now. What you will read there will be me at the time – a 29 year old with no kids, a low level/low stress job, having a lot of firsts like buying a house, having a dog, just 2 years in Boise and not knowing if we were staying, and in this case also about to have a baby. As I write this as a 38 year old, we are now on to our 3rd home, have two children, an executive level/high stress job, a 10 year old dog, and established in a city we will call home (barring anything crazy) until you are grown and gone.

The last 9 years for me has seen more change in it than my first 29 combined, both personally and professionally. Professionally, I have had major highs like selling Balihoo, dramatically increasing my salary, becoming an executive at 30, being part of a company raising money, part of a company going public and now at a new one on a similar trajectory where I get to run a function that will dramatically affect the bottom line, managing teams of over 250 people, etc. But also lows like dealing with stress for the first time in my life, working for people so bad that it sent me to therapy, laying off or firing over 100 people already in my career, being belittled and criticized for decisions I made, and more.

The last 9 years personally have seen the same. Highs like having two amazing and unbelievable children, being able to take our family on more trips that I can count, teaching you and Ethan to ride a bike, to ski, to fish, and learning about and experiencing new hobbies myself like mountain biking and really learning to love golf. But then lows – like managing a marriage with all the stresses these things bring, managing our lives everyday and all day, anxiety that I have never experienced before, people dying, my weight, a struggle with drinking at times, and more.

The point is this: reflection on your life from my perspective, IN THE MOMENT, is the goal of this. I will feel completely different and likely have different perspectives in 5 years when I am writing this as you turn 14. And as I reflect on us being halfway through this little present I will give you eventually, I just want you to know why I did it. I did it because life is amazing/hard/surprising/depressing and a bunch of other emotions – and they come and go at difference times. I also did it because I love you so much it causes me pain at times, and I really hope that this is something you love and cherish. I hope for all these things when you read this.

Sick little germ trap

Ok let’s move on to what is happening – the first that jumps out is that you guys are disgusting little sickened things. You, Ethan, Mom and then finally me were sick for like 3 months from early November through January. It started with you, as you picked something up from someone in your class. it happened the night before we were supposed to leave for a trip for LA in the morning to go to a USC football game and spend a couple days in the city. We woke up the following morning and, not easily as you were denying it to being, got it out of you that you weren’t feeling well. We made the quick decision (at 5am mind you) to postpone the trip to the next day and see how you felt. We were very glad we did, as the next day you were far worse. Would have been a miserable trip (however, see below for a silver lining).

Ethan was next a few days later. He developed a cough (that mom freaked herself out about as being asthma for like weeks, which was never confirmed), and while you still had a cough he got a bit worse. This lasted basically all of November.

Later in November your mom also got sick. You hear about “man flu” in which men overreact to a simple sickness – well your mom is the drama queen in our household. She was bedridden for a day and had a cough, and then was able to manage. I was able to avoid all this sickness while caring for you all full-time.

Then in mid-December, I got covid. Had not had it the entire 3 years it existed and finally got it. Fortunately, it was not bad. I felt kind of crappy for a couple days but didn’t take me down. However, your mom insisted that I quarantined. So for 8 days I stayed in the guest room, finally coming out really for the first time with you guys on Christmas morning. I had tested negative finally and got to hang. I joke that is was the best Christmas present ever, 8 days to myself in a room with a queen bed, tv, computer and full bathroom. If I had had a mini fridge I could have stayed in there forever.

While I was quarantining per your mom’s request, she got sicker than I was and was caring for you both the entire time. She tested for covid a number of times, convinced that she had it, but always tested negative as did both of you. I believe she mentally made herself sick, as it would not be the first time she had done this. I was out on Christmas and we headed to SV that afternoon after presents that morning.

Then you and Ethan both got sick again in January – and finally by February you were ok. Kind of a weird update, but the sickness caused a lot of chaos and made us miss the LA trip which we are rescheduling now for next year.

Oh, the silver lining. Well, an agency vendor of mine happened to reach out that Friday when we were supposed to leave and offered me club level seats for game 5 of the World Series the following night in Houston (playing the Phillies). Since you were sick (and after a lot of negotiation with your mother, and afterwards I caught a lot of shit for), I went to the game with a friend who had a son in Ethan’s class. Astros clinched the series that game, making it the second WS clinching game I had seen (2001 Diamondbacks was the first). I am not glad we had to cancel the LA trip, but definitely will remember that experience forever. Here is a pic:

Airstream

We bought a 2022 Airstream. Yep. My hope is that by the time you read this it is a familiar thing for you as we have gone out in it hundreds of time and you are well versed.

We used it once before winter and had to put it away – went to Ponderosa outside McCall for one night with Moya and Clint and their kids. Since then it has been sitting in a storage unit. We have about 9 camping trips planned this summer, so will have a better update at your 9.5 update.

Other Items

You read like it’s your job. You read long books and short books. You read more than anyone in your class. You love it and cannot get enough books.

We again did Wagon Days – check out the cutest picture ever below

You chose the Halloween attire again. You chose “traditional halloween costumes”. You were a pumpkin and Ethan was a vampire.

You have a new stuffed animal named Goro. You are attached to him like no other comfort toy ever.

Layla turned 10 :).

Conclusion

I cannot believe we are halfway through this journey to adulthood. Will never be able to explain how fast it goes and how incredible it is. But I can say, confidently, at this time, in this moment, and as I write this – I think you are turning out amazing. I genuinely could not ask for a better, more loving, more beautiful and caring daughter. I am so proud of you, and so excited to see what you do.

I love you more than all the world,

Love, Dad