I’m back! 6 months later and we have successfully kept you alive. Round of applause, please.

Just a quick housekeeping item, you can expect posts on this cadence. I thought that I might be able to keep it up on a more regular basis, but really with everything that happens in this size of timeframe it makes for some pretty robust posts. Not only that, finding time to put these together is a bit difficult (most of these are while I am flying for work). Don’t want to sacrifice quality for quantity.

That said, I might pop in here and there when possible and if something major happens. Also going to change the layout a bit to create some consistency. I will try to start each post with an update on your mom and I before jumping in on you. Think it is important that you get a clear picture of our lives at they evolve. Right now is an extremely interesting time for us in that we just started a family, own our first house, building a career and are still young enough that we haven’t figured it out.

Mom: Sleep is a commodity!

We are learning quickly that sleep may not be your thing. Mom is handling it like a champ (a grumpy one) and getting the hang of it. Breast feeding was a struggle out of the gate. Mom went to classes, met with specialists and read more than I have in the last year. It was a rough time for her, but she got it figured out and now loves it. She talks a lot about the bond it creates, and how happy it makes her. You are her light.

She has become really involved in some mom’s groups and made some new friends with children the same age. Being responsible for an infant is the hardest thing in the world (big statement, but believe it to be true) and having other to talk to is important. Your mom gives every second of every day to you. At this point her life revolves around you and leaves no time for anything else. She does a lot of it alone (which I will get in to) which makes it that much more impressive.

In summary: she is sleep deprived, always at your side, stressed, happy, anxious, proud and feels very lucky to have you. The life of a mom at this point is not glamorous but she handles it well just like she does anything put before her.

Dad: Work is picking up.

When I took the job at Balihoo I was brought in as the SEO Analyst (probably a profession that will not exist when you read this) and then moved into product marketing plus the SEO and analytics piece. In February of this year, just before you were born, I was promoted to Senior Product Manager. This basically meant that I was responsible for the direction/strategy that we build into our software. I am expected to be an expert in the digital space and be able to reflect the newest technologies in our product. I have two people that now report to me and I am under the VP of Product. I also know our software inside and out and demo it for clients/potential clients frequently. I will save the geeky details, but the point is more is on my plate. Went from working about 45 hours a week to about 55. Even with the added work, the first three months of your life I was around a lot. Then the travel started…

I traveled a bit for my last job, but in spurts and only made probably 15 or so trips over the 2 years I was there. As I mentioned I demo the product a lot and talk to the details, and most of the happens on-site. I have recently started traveling quite a bit. In June is when it really kicked off, and I have been taking 3-4 trips a month since then. This has made things hard on mom as she is alone a lot, and hard on me as well. I don’t have the bond with you that mom has (yet) simply because of the time and interaction I have with you is limited. You are still amazing to me in that we created this little creature, and you belong to us. It is overwhelming at times, and exciting other times. All I know is that you are a gift for which I am unworthy, but so grateful to have.

We got some professional pics taken 9 days after you were born. I added a couple here. I would add a link but fear that in 18 years from now wherever the picture is hosted will no longer exist, so just keeping it in the media library on this platform (WordPress). They turned out awesome!

So we brought you home, that is where we left off We successfully brought you inside, removed you from your carseat, and….said holy shit now what! Kidding (kind of). Mia came home with us stayed for 7 days. She was a tremendous help with things, and although we handled the sleeping and mom handled the feeding, she had great advice and definitely gave us a break once in a while. I took a week off work and then worked half days for another week. We basically spent those first two weeks learning how to be parents and trying to get in a routine (you will learn that I am a very routine oriented person).

Basically first few weeks you MUST eat every 2 hours. After a baby is born they lose a bunch of weight, so it is integral that you replace that weight. After 3 weeks you were back to you birth weight, which is actually expected. The hardest thing to do is when you have a baby sleeping, and you as a parent have barely slept in a couple weeks, and you have to wake the baby up to feed them. It is so counter-intuitive, but that is what you have to do.

You slept in our room the first three months, and then we moved you into your own room. You woke up every 3-4 hours every night that whole time. The first 3 months, after the initial phase of feeding every 2 hours, you actually slept pretty well. Not through the night, but close on some occasions. The fun began when we moved you out. Mom can’t bear to hear you cry so we used (and continue to use) a no cry methodology which basically requires us to tend to you anytime you are upset. Right or wrong, that is the approach and therefore we have resolved to the fact that we will never sleep again. I am talking a lot about sleep, but when you don’t get much it is all you think about.

You also have pretty bad eczema and we have gone to great lengths to figure out why. We are still trying to solve the mystery, but think it may be an allergy. We are taking you to an allergist in December and will hopefully get some insight.

You have also had some really exciting moments. You can support your own neck now! This sounds stupid, but trust me, when you don’t have to cradle a baby all the time it is pretty epic. You can also roll over. We literally hovered over you for weeks waiting/urging/begging you to do it. When you finally did, it is like experiencing a miracle first hand. Yes, it is that unreal.

The first month or so of your life there are many moments we shared that were awesome. The first time you smiled (you farted and then smiled) I was holding you. You fell asleep on me a number of times and I would just lay down with you and rest. There was a night during March Madness when we were playing and you were rocking your UA onesie and fell asleep in your swing in the corner of my office while I watched the game (we won). There were many other milestones like the first time you took a bottle from me, when we took you to the farmer’s market or to Sun Valley. All great memories.

But I will never forget the first time we were alone together.  And since I am writing this, I am going to be selfish and share it (I know your mom has many moments she would like to share too, but she doesn’t know about our secret project here). It happened when one of mom’s friends, Laura Hamister, came into town from SD. They became friends in law school and she flew out to meet you. They wanted to go get lunch and see a matinee. This was literally the first time your mom was away from you unless I had you in the other room or something.

It happened early April. There is something that happens every year in early April, and it is an event that my dad made special for me. Not because of the sport or anything unique to the event, but just that I remember watching it with him when I was little. The Masters tournament is usually the first weekend of April, and it is one of my favorite things to watch. Someday I want to go and take Boppie (maybe by the time you read this I will have done so).

Anyway, they left to go see their movie and had lunch and we had about 5 hours that would be just us. I was nervous, not going to lie. What if something happened? What if you cried and I couldn’t get you to stop? What if you wouldn’t eat? Everything ran through my mind. I also was not as comfortable around babies as mom was (remember, I had just held one for the first time a month ago) so there were many thoughts that ran through my mind. I remember, vividly, getting settled on the couch with a bottle and remote next to me and your mom handing you to me and saying bye. I always wonder if all the doubts I had about my ability occurred to her as well (I am sure they did). But, they left and it was me and you.

Nothing crazy or exciting happened that day. But for the net 5 hours we sat there, together, and just got to know each other. I fed you a couple times, you took a couple naps on me, you played with a stuffed animal and we watched the Masters. It was the first time that I felt like we really, truly bonded. You got to know me and I got to know you. We shared many stares and giggles. You didn’t cry once (although this was not uncommon, you weren’t much of a crier at this age). I loved you before this day, but that was when I realized how much more you meant to me than I even knew. I can’t explain why it happened then or what it was that did it, but I can tell you that I was different after that day. There will be times when I get frustrated with you and vice versa, where you hate me or I don’t make you the priority when I should. I am not perfect and really unsure of how I will be as a dad. But I (again) tear up writing this because that day was so special to me. It will not be anything you remember, but it will be a time that I will never, ever forget.

OK, now that the sappy part is out of the way, what else has happened these last six months? How about some pics to help illustrate…

A lot has happened, too much to remember, but it has been new in so many ways. Watching you evolve into a real little girl has been incredible (oh, and it looks like you will be keeping your beautiful blue eyes!), and we can’t wait to see more of your personality emerge. Now that you look at us, smile, laugh and do it all intentionally it is getting real quickly. The next post should be fun as you are going on your first trip (actually trips) and will have your first birthday!

I hope I can look back on this and be confident that I included the major milestones. I won’t remember everything but it has been an amazing six months. We are so excited to have you and as we work through learning how to be parents we ask for your patience. Just know that you are loved, so much.

I love you more than you will ever know

-Dad