You are here, and with quite a bit of fanfare! I made the publish time of this post exactly when you entered the world, but am obviously writing it after the fact. However, although this is not immediately after I remember it as well as anything in my life.

Harper Mae Donegan

Born 5:18pm; St. Luke’s Hospital; 5 lbs 12 oz

You were born healthy and everything went according to plan…almost. Let me back up a bit.

Your mom started getting contractions a couple days ago. She has read that if you can breath during the contraction, and that he threshold of pain was tolerable to about a 6 on your personal pain scale, that there is no reason to go to the hospital. This was of course spot on (knowing your mom this should be no surprise), but the problem was that the contractions lasted for over two days.

Besides this being really uncomfortable for your mom, it removed any chance that she would be able to sleep well before labor. As you will find out someday it is an extremely exhausting process and not just a painful one. By the time we went to the hospital she had slept probably 8 hours over the last 48. Finally, at about 5am on March 1, we decided it was time to head that way. We packed up everything and headed to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital the first thing they do is check to see how dilated the woman is and if it warrants bringing them into the delivery room. When we arrived your mom was right around 4 cm dilated, which didn’t warrant bringing her to a room just yet (I believe 5-6 cm is when you are admitted). Being that she was progressing, rather than head home and wait the nurses suggested we go for about an hour long walk. We got on our jackets and proceeded out into the night (remember, was still about 5:30am).

Not to get too sentimental here, but this was an hour of my life I will never forget. When you read this I have no idea what will be happening in our lives, but I will tell you now that spending an hour walking around downtown Boise when no one was out and you about to be born is one of the fondest memories I have , and one that I will keep with me forever. We held hands, talked about how excited we were about you coming, talked about how much the next many hours was going to suckkkkk, and for the first time really realized that we would leave that day or someday soon with a child.

Sidenote: I forgot to mention that we had not completely decided on your name at this point. I had totally made u my mind, and I think your mom had as well, but neither had said without a doubt that it would be Harper. Your mom wanted to see you first and then decide, but in my head you were a Harper regardless. Anyway, when you came out I saw what I already knew and I think your mom did as well. You were totally a Harper.

After about an hour we went back in and took another measurement, and your mom had reached 6 cm and was moved into a room.

I wish I had taken some pictures of the room, but it was your normal room. Was actually pretty nice and good sized. We got in there and began to wait.

As I mentioned earlier your mom had not slept in a couple of days and was deliberating whether to get epidural. After some pushing (not too much, but some) she accepted it was a good idea to get one. This would help her relax and even sleep a little as she would need energy when labor began. The next 10 hours went by pretty fast.

We had been seeing a doctor throughout the pregnancy named Dr. West. He was awesome (dude wore Vans to all our appointments, plus he had gone to UA). Your mother and I both loved him. Unfortunately he had been on an all night shift the night before and was not available to deliver you, so we were given another doctor. As it turned out, she then got locked up with another birth and we were at the last minute switched to yet another doctor. This was obviously all a bit stressful.

Finally it was time for mom to start pushing, and this lasted about 30-45 minutes. After a long awaited arrival, you were finally here!

I mentioned fanfare. Well, when you came out you weren’t actually breathing. Nice work. What had happened was you inhaled meconium (I will let you read more on this if interested) just before you came out. When you were born was the first time the doctors knew that it might be a problem as none of the test showed anything. You were handed to your mom to hold, and then quickly brought over to a table in the room where NICU doctors rushed in to help. Your mother, even in her exhaustion, was immediately concerned and focused on you and your health. I was as well, to a great degree, but I also had not just gone through what she had.

The doctors had you breathing within about a minute, which was a great sign, but they had to take you over to the NICU for further observation. Hopefully you will never experience this, but having your child whisked off to an intensive care unit minutes after they are born is just about the last thing you are expecting or want to happen. There is nothing that can be done to prepare for something like this, so it leaves you in utter shock.

After ensuring your mom was ok and healthy, I headed off to the NICU to check on you. When I got there they had you hooked up to a number of machines and were checking everything about you. Your breathing, heart rate, fluid levels, brain activity, etc… Again, nothing you can ever prepare for. I brought my mom (assuming you call her Nonnie) with me while Mia stayed with your mom.

Luckily, after running a variety of tests, within about 45 minutes they deemed you were healthy and ready to be released. They commented on how fast they were able to ensure your state.

Something happened just after that caught be not only by surprise but frightened me to a great degree. I realized at that time I had never held a baby. I know. How does that happen? Well, it’s true. I think I may have held your cousin Abby when she was really young but that it is and I am not sure I even did. When you were born the doctor handed you to your mom, bypassing me and therefore it didn’t occur to me at that time. Now that you were fine, they turned to me with you in hand. As I hope by this time you know, I do not get intimidated easily…but in this moment I about shit myself. I turned to my mom and then back to the doctors and just came out with honesty “I have never held a baby.” Fortunately, the doctors did not judge but instead helped me through. Support the neck, hold against your body, rock her where some of the pieces of advice. I took it, and for the first time I was holding you and looking into your beautiful blue eyes. I cannot describe the feeling, and I tear up as I write this. I all the sudden understood how you can love something you barely know. It is a surreal experience, but looking at you knowing you were mine both in kin and responsibility was life-changing.

After this everything changed. Everything.

After I got hold of you I started sharing you among the others. Nonnie held you next as she was with me. I was surprised at how maternal she was, had never seen that side before but she was in love immediately.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next I brought you back to the room where you were born, and where Mia and your mom could hold you. Mia for the first time and your mom for the first time since being cleared.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We didn’t get a pic of your mom the day you were born (which she apparently is thankful for) but we started taking many the next day. This one is my favorite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and in case you were wondering what you looked like here are a few mug shots for you.

To be perfectly honest, what followed all this I do not remember. There were rooms we went into, paperwork filed, washing, training, sleeping, eating and a bunch of other stuff. We spent the next two days in the hospital pretty much learning how to not kill you (that’s a bit of an exaggeration). After two days there going over everything from breastfeeding to how to properly install your carseat (which will be hilarious to see this if it is anything like the difference between the one I saw in pictures that I used as a baby and the ones now, it will be completely different) we packed up the car and headed home. I have never driven so slowly and carefully.

Your birth went very much according to plan, but to us it seemed like a complete circus. In retrospect we were lucky to have it go as smoothly as it did. You are finally here and the fun begins now.

Love you very much…and am so happy to FINALLY have met you! Enjoy some pics from the time we were in the hospital!