I am finding myself needing to set more and more time aside to write these posts as there is so much to fit in (and so much that I miss in here). Not because you guys are having so many firsts (although still plenty of those), but rather because you are so active and doing so many things. Also hobby/interest changes, attitude changes, new friends, new experiences and a lot more. You are also becoming such a sweet little thing. You love your brother (even though you tease him a lot) and are a total daddy’s girl – for now at least.

Here are a few of the highlights.

Easter Bunny

You are starting to figure it out…

We usually go all out for Easter. Baskets, candy, stuffed animals, toys and of course like 10 easter egg hunts. This year you were just a little different leading up to it and during it. Asking a lot more questions and seemingly skeptical of the process. You are usually not one to ask questions to which you do not want the wrong answer, but you bucked the trend.

We were in my truck driving later that day and you said “Dad, the Easter Bunny isn’t real is he?” I had prepared for this moment. Prepared to use the answer a question with a question technique and eventually try to wear you out. The problem – it’s impossible to wear you out (a month or so after this you literally guessed my password to my work computer with a 45 minute barrage of questions that finally got you to the answer). After my retort filled with various questions, you brought it back to the point and I caved. You already knew, so there was no point in trying to keep it a secret anymore.

This then cascaded into the tooth fairy, but it stopped right there when you said “well, at least Santa is real.” The issue there is you are now in 6th grade, and you hear things from friends. Many times you just mention things you heard in passing, or your mom or I reference something trendy and you have already heard about it (6 and 7 is the current one we didn’t know you knew, and it also utterly stupid). Meaning it’s only a matter of time until you find out about them all.

Obviously this doesn’t seem like a big deal since you were bound to find out eventually, but it does extinguish another part of your childlike nature and innocence. You like being a kid. You don’t like it when you grow (you are just under 5 feet tall btw!), or gain a pound. You don’t like anything that makes you appear older or more adult like. So while I love this about you, finding out about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy is just another reminder that you are growing up no matter what you or I can do. Something tells me that this will be the last year you believe in Santa (or pretend to) so I plan on enjoying every second of it.

I lost some weight

I don’t normally write about me, but sometimes want to update you on life-changing things.

I turned 40 last year, and I was in bad shape. Like really bad shape. I was way overweight, eating poorly, drinking too much, not working out, lazy and had lost my ambition. It really wasn’t who I was and I realized it. I started gaining weight when Ethan was born and never got back into a good routine. What I really realized was that I wasn’t doing things with you guys like I used to or wanted to. I reflected on it and decided I needed to make a change.

In about 3.5 months I dropped about 45 pounds, and currently sitting at 51 pounds down. I also shifted my entire lifestyle. I get up at 5/530 every day and go to the gym before coming home to make your lunches, make you breakfast and take you to school. We play so much more and my energy is back, making time around you guys so much more enjoyable.

I regret so much the years I could have been better for you guys, but also realize that shit happens and no one is perfect. Just really happy I am where I am now.

(I happened to be wearing the same outfit the other day as the one on your 11th bday, so had Ethan take a comparison pic)

Soccer over

You decided to quit soccer after this last season. I believe you played 5 years, and during that time you improved so much. You went from hard to watch to slightly good :). You really enjoyed soccer for a few years but recently it had become less fun for you and you were finding other things more enjoyable. Your teams were never that good (could prob count all your wins during those years on one hand), but you made some good friends and seemed to enjoy the team environment. You just didn’t have the aggression necessary to go to the next level.

All joking aside, you played defense and you were great at it. Nothing got by you, and if it did you were very fast and would track it down. It was awesome watching you work and get better. But you quit for a good reason…you made dance company!

Dance Company

I am so proud of you. Trying out for things or placing yourself in a position that is highlighted is not something that you are comfortable with. But you really did it with this. You wanted to get better at dance (and you have) and you went out for the tryout and made the team!

This is still a very new thing as I write this, but this is a bigger commitment than anything you have done to this point. You are dancing at least four days a week, and apparently that will increase. You are doing contemporary, jazz, hip hop and ballet. You will go to competitions next year and probably even travel for them. You take it seriously and appear to love it. I take and pick you up most of the time, and it’s very weird seeing you become so independent – also weird seeing you dress like a tween.

Other things

You are still doing piano and are improving. You don’t play at home as much as you used to so I don’t get to hear it as much, but I mostly think that is because you are busy with other things. You are the child that comes home and starts their homework right away, and while some of it comes hard for you (math specifically) you power through. Even have convinced you to ask your teacher for help on occasion as your mom and I can still get the answers but sometimes it takes even us a while. You have an acro mat that you keep in the living room and use it every day to do handstands, bridges and walkovers (currently you are working on your headstand as well). You are my little adventurer – we hike, explore the forest when camping, go on road trips and really anything I am doing you want to come. You smile all the time. Your best friends right now are Avery and Cora.

Your real best friend is Ethan – you guys do so much together and for the most part get along great. Your taste in food is also evolving, as you are now eating more mature foods like salad and more vegetables. You are quickly evolving.

You are perfect. And I could not ask for a better monkey.

I love you more than all the world

Love, Dad

I try to never do the “you’re growing up so fast” or “I can’t believe it has been 11 years!” type stuff. And not going to do it here either – it’s math so it’s easy to believe. I will say though that it is very weird having an eleven year old. Makes me feel really old, but also scared.

You are still the sweetest most loving and supportive daughter a dad could ask for. Just the other day I came down dressed up for the first time in forever and while mom made fun of my shirt, you greeted me with “Daddy, you look so handsome.” You are easily my biggest fan, and the smile and joy you bring to me daily I will never be able to properly thank you for. Every day when you get home you come to my office upstairs and give me a hug and tell me about your day. Every night when you go to bed and I kiss you goodnight you tell me how much you love me. I know it won’t stay this way as you get older, but I am enjoying every second of it while I can. It is hard for me to even imagine us not being as close as we have been your entire life, and I am going to do everything possible to keep it that way.

Activities

My god you are an active kid. As I write this you are still doing jazz, ballet, soccer and piano. This summer you will start up swim again, and this is the first year you will also be doing some camps on a regular basis (dance, art, and others). You have also really solidified your friend group and have play dates all the time which adds to your busy schedule, but you love it. We got a tetherball setup for Christmas, and your mom and I will play for hours with you. We are basically your hired drivers right now – and it is wonderful. I still take you to school every day and pick you up from dance every time you go. Mom takes you to soccer practice, but we make it to all your games. I assume that over time you will begin to eliminate certain activities and focus your efforts, but I am always so impressed that while you can be a reserved individual in many situations you are still adventurous and put yourself in new and uncomfortable situations so frequently. I would bet the next time I post you will have picked up a new hobby and can’t wait to see what it is.

Ticks

Well, unfortunately, not all my genetics are ones that I wish to pass on. One of the bigger ones is that I grew up with ticks, and you are exhibiting the same in a very real way over the last 6 months. You have had them in the past, but not to this degree.

Growing up I had a bunch. I would count a lot in my head, if I touched something with one hand I would need to do it with the other, would move my head in weird ways sometimes – among other tendencies. The big one I had to deal with was my blinking. I would blink to a crazy degree – sometimes just one eye, sometimes both. Sometimes it would be fast blinking and sometimes it would be one eye and then the other for an extended period of time. Other kids would notice and ask me about it which made it worse, and was something that I did get made fun of for at times. What I never shared with anyone was the counting (actually, never shared that with anyone until about 2 years ago when I was 38 and I told your mom for the first time). I can do crazy math in my head very quickly I think do to the counting I have been doing in my mind my entire life. I have learned to control things much better as I have aged, but as a child I couldn’t control it nearly as well.

You are exhibiting the same tendencies now. Your big ones right now are movements with your mouth, stretching it out or even making noises. The other one is the need to look left or right in a very noticeable way and on a frequent basis. You tell us that you can’t control it and that you “have to do it.” This has been very hard for your mom to comprehend because she never experienced ticks, but I can easily relate. I was tested for tourettes when I was young and it came back negative, which was the only silver lining growing up.

In an effort to help we are getting you a counselor for you to talk to and can hopefully help introduce you to some coping mechanisms. Because I kept it to myself for my whole life I never received the help I needed, but since I can see it in you and relate we are going to see how we can help. You are also open to the help, going so far as asking us to help you. The thing to remember is that this is not a disease, nor is it that big of a deal, but it can feel like it when others point it out. I hate that I passed this on to you, but hope that because I understand it can provide more assistance than perhaps those that never experienced it could. Will keep you posted on the progress.

Chess

This might be hard to believe because I am such a cool guy :), but when I was in elementary school I was the captain of the chess club. I love chess, everything about it. The strategy, the planning (you have already learned that I am the planner in the family), the competition and the strain on intellect that it requires. This love for chess I am happy to say I also passed on to you. You and I play chess at least a couple times a week, and you took to it immediately. In fact, as I sit here you are the only one in the house to ever beat me.

You took me down a couple months ago. I did not take it easy on you (you will learn I never let you guys win on purpose, just ask your brother), and you full on outsmarted me. While I was blown away and took a major hit to my ego getting beat by a 10 year old, I could not have been more proud. You beat your mom on a regular basis, and you are getting better each time we play. I have tried to get you to join chess club but for some reason that is one activity you are not interested in participating at school or in a group setting. Regardless, it is one of my favorite activities to do with you. It is great bonding time and so fulfilling to see you improve. I hope when you read this when you are 18 we are still playing – by then I am sure you will be beating me more than I beat you.

Layla

I save this for last because it is still hard for me to think about let alone write about. On January 3rd of this year I had to put Layla down. She was nearly 12 1/2 years old when it happened – and it was honestly the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Over the last 3 or so years you have really fell in love with Layla. The first 8 years of your life you always liked Layla and would play with her, but I would say around 8 or 9 you fell in love with Layla. You would just sit and pet her for hours while watching a show or even reading. You took her for walks, would feed her many of her meals, would get her birthday presents and throw her parties. You were so in tune with how she was feeling, and you never wanted to go anywhere without her. You insisted we take her camping every time we went rather than have her watched, and when we did go on vacations where she couldn’t come you would insist on facetiming her to say hi every day. It was the coolest thing to watch – and also the most heartbreaking thing to see when we had to let her go.

She lived an incredible life. We met her when she was 4 weeks old (well before you were born) and took her home at 8 weeks. By the time you came around she was already 1.5 years old. When you were a baby she didn’t really know what to do with you, and it really took until you were older to really bond with her, but you sure did it. The amount of memories I have of her are too many to count, and with the exception of the scary moments when she was hurt or scared (or she wouldn’t let her tennis ball go in the river and I had to jump in after her) they were all amazing. But my favorite memories were of you and her. You loved her so much which just made my heart so full when she was around, and ache so badly when we had to let her go.

The only good part about it was the decision was made easy for us. She developed bone cancer and lost the use of her back left leg. She still had a smile, but her energy was sapped and she basically just laid around all day. This happened on a Sunday while we were in Sun Valley, and I thought maybe she had just pulled a muscle or something. On Tuesday when we got back I took her to the vet and they gave me the news, that she had bone cancer and the only option was to amputate the leg and begin radiation. At her age the chances of her surviving the surgery were minimal, and the thought of her losing a leg meant she would be living a terrible life. The only good thing was that we got a few more days with her after the diagnosis. Telling you was the hardest news I have ever had to deliver. You did your best to be brave as you do – but it was clear it was killing you. I made the appointment for that Friday to put her down, so we did get 3 days with her. On that Friday it was scheduled for 10am, and around 9:30 you had to say goodbye. We all cried and gave her all the love we could. You, mom and Ethan stayed at the house and I took her in. They made her incredibly comfortable, gave her the medicine, and she drifted off peacefully as I held her. I stayed in that room and cried as hard as I ever had.

There is just something about a dog. As I wrote earlier about how you are so supportive and love me so much, I got it even more from Layla as only a dog can do. There was never a day that I came home where she wasn’t waiting for me at the door and excited to see me. There was never a day when she was mad at me, judged me, questioned me, criticized me or did anything other than love me above everything else. She got me through so many tough times, where she could just sense something was wrong and would come sit at my feet or snuggle up next to me. She was my best friend in the world, and life is less without her. It has been two months and I am still crying as I write this and look at a picture I have of her on my mantle in my office. I don’t regret getting her and having the time I did with her – but I genuinely miss her every single day and life is not the same without her. I am so grateful for the time I had with her and the joy she brought into all our lives. I know we will get another dog, but none will ever live up to Layla. I am just so happy that you got the time with her that you did.

Wrapping it up

I almost wish I had some things that I could say that doesn’t paint such a rosy picture of life with you, that I had something to say about you other than how great and perfect you are – but I don’t. I feel so luck to have this spirited, happy, beautiful, amazing child named Harper. Every day with you is better than the last, and I am doing my best to enjoy every moment. You and I have a special bond that I hope we can keep forever and I promise to do everything I can to make that a reality. You just keep being you.

I love you more than all the world.

Love, Dad

You have had a busy 6 months.

Whenever I write these I always look at the pictures to remind me of what we did – and it’s usually pretty crazy just how much we fit in. These last 6 months have been exceptionally busy.

School

This is always a busy 6 months when it comes to school. You completed 4th grade and began your 5th grade year. After every year you ask (beg) to go back to the grade you were in versus being excited for the next one. Of course this fades quickly once you begin your new grade.

In 4th you had Mrs. Schneider, and you also happen to be best friends with her daughter, Cora. You and Cora and hilariously nerdy together. I remember growing up and having those moments when you would run into your teacher at the grocery store or something, and seeing them outside of school was the weirdest thing possible. You on the other hand go to your teacher’s house.

You ended 4th grade with stellar grades (as always). You have really generated an affinity for reading. You read all the time. I will wake up in the morning on weekends (and sometimes weekdays) and find you in your chair in your room already awake and reading a book. Cora and Avery (your other bestie) also read a great deal, and you guys make it into a competition.

So far you are loving 5th grade with Mrs. Zito. We call her “tight ship Zito” as she keep you guys in line. You had her for 2nd grade as well, and was very excited when you got her again for 5th. You are thriving in english, reading, social studies and of course art. You do struggle with math and science a bit – not that you can’t get it, you just don’t like it and get easily frustrated. Your goal is still to be an artist when you grow up.

I always like to capture the moment in these in case it changes, but I would summarize you this way when it comes to school at this current time: diligent, competitive, hard working and love to learn.

Camping

While you were opposed to purchasing the Airstream at the outset because you claimed to love tent camping…there is no one in this family that loves it more than you at this point. 🙂 We got it out 5 or 6 times this summer, and they were the best trips we took.

Most of the time we head just north of Ketchum. We bring your bikes, games, go on hikes, and go fishing (you caught a great fish as you can see in the pictures below). Lately your favorite thing to do is take Layla for walks. She is a monster at the camp site until she calms down, and you love being the one to calm her down and wear her out a little.

A lot of times we will do little day trips as well. You can see below when we are on Slater and Gina’s boat. We also floated a natural lady river on paddle boards with a bunch of other families and friends. Many times you also just want to hang at the campsite and draw or do other art projects. You bug us to go as much as possible, and has really made the investment make sense.

Trips

We made it to Palm Springs for spring break to see Tita and a ton of swimming. You guys basically lived in the pool. Tita isn’t doing so well so we also spent some time with her at her home.

We also went to a place called Diamond D Ranch with Papa and Damian. It was a very cool ranch in the middle of nowhere. It was along the river and hidden back in the mountains. Only about 15 people can stay there at a time. As you can see below, the highlight for you was when you got to ride horses. We went on a trail ride into the hills. You and Ethan rode solo, and did a fantastic job. Unfortunately there was a wildfire nearby and the smoke got really bad. Your mom had a panic attach at 3am and then we had to leave the next morning.

Probably the coolest trip was when we stayed in the yurt. Up at Galena you can rent a yurt for the night – no electricity and you stay on bunk beds. The yurt itself it pretty basic. It has a table in the middle, a kitchen with a couple burners and a sink (but no running water), an outhouse outside and a really cool wood burning furnace. The other part is that you have to snowshoe to the yurt. Mia had the idea and organized it. There were a number of yurts to choose from so she asked us, and I just mentioned one specific one not to choose because it was a 1.5 mile hike in and that’s a lot for you guys. Well, you know Mia, and that sometimes she gets things a little wrong, and so instead of avoiding that one she chose it. You guys hiked 1.5 miles in snowshoes (which you had never worn) to the yurt. You were a trooper and hiked the whole time without complaining (can’t say the same for your brother). Now it is still Sun Valley and fancy, so we didn’t have to carry all our stuff, but rather the lodge snowmobiled it in for us (as well as a prepared dinner that we just needed to heat up) and it was waiting for us when we arrived. We all just hung out, played games, played in the snow and had a very cool experience. Was one of my favorite trips I have been on. The next morning we hiked out. You and I took the lead and made it back to the lodge well before everyone else (mainly because your brother was whining the whole time).

Going on trips with you guys, especially the outdoorsy local ones, is one of our favorite things to do as a family. Very luck to live where we live and have the flexibility we have.

Sports

You continue to take on like every activity out there. Ballet, jazz, soccer, swimming, piano, and probably some others I am forgetting. You are open to pretty much anything we offer which is one of my favorite traits about you. I know you are not comfortable with it as you are still a reserved individual, but you are always up to challenge yourself and go outside your comfort zone. I admire it greatly.

The highlight this summer though was when you took 3rd place in the breast stroke at city! There were 50 swimmers you went up against and you took 3rd – we were so proud of you. You have been swimming 5 days a week all summer. Your commitment has been unwavering, and totally paid off.

You have also improved dramatically in dance, both jazz and ballet. Honestly, you have been pretty awkward and flailing dancing up to this point – but it appears you are finding your groove so to speak. 🙂

The rest

Everything is busier nowadays. With all the activities, work, school and generally just life – things are crazy. But crazy in a great way.

I always like to mention it because I don’t know how long it will last, but your best friend in the world is your brother. You guys play all day together, and you love each other so much. Of course you have your disagreements and fights – but you are quick to move on. I could not be happier with how close the two of you are.

You are still the sweetest, kindest, funniest, and overall greatest daughter I could ask for. You are also such a happy kid which is really what matters to me most. You and I are still really close as well. I hope that continues, but also am realistic that as you age staying this close will be tough. I will give it all I got though because I can’t imagine us not being this way.

I can’t wait to write you again when you turn 11 in 6 months. Please stay who you are because you are perfect.

I love you more than anything in the world

Love, Dad

Disclaimer: the photos are in reverse order for some reason. Just a heads up. A lot to pack in here as it’s been a big six months!

4th grade finishing up

You are about to be done with your 4th grade year – which is simply unreal. Your teach, Mrs. Schneider, I think I mentioned, is the mother of your best friend Cora. She’s not in your class but you guys hang out all the time at school and a lot of time outside of school. You got to go on some great field trips this year (see pics below when mom drove), you are starting to get into some challenging math (but you are still testing at or above your level), and you absolutely love school – so much so that you get mad at us for making you miss it to go on fantastic trips. You still love St. Joe’s as well. As we do every year we will re-evaluate whether to keep you there, but my guess is we will.

We also had another daddy/daughter dance and had a blast. I took you out to dinner, we danced, we took pics, and had a fantastic time. Your friends and you hung out a lot, but you still made plenty of time for me as you always do.

You are also using the computer on a very regular basis for both school and shopping nowadays. 🙂

Soccer

You are playing in the North Boise Futbol League (NBFL) and have a number of friends on the team from school. You had to tryout for this one and made the team. You play primarily defense, and are actually a fantastic defended. You have played forward a bit, but you, at least at this point, are not very aggressive and therefore defense is far more your speed.

You really love soccer. It is the sport that you have really taken to and that you have dedicated a lot of time to. I am going to go out on a limb and say you’re probably not going pro in it (as I write this I feel bad saying this, but when I picture you at 18 reading this I kinda laugh a little) but it is something you enjoy. You are also at the age when it is finally fun to watch your games as you are not all just absolutely terrible anymore (again, feel bad now – laughing when you read).

LA Trip

We did the LA trip this year. Last year we were scheduled to go in November but you got sick the night before and we had to abort the trip (your mom still whines about that to this day and I am sure will never forget). But this year we did it – flew out on an early Friday morning and back Sunday evening.

We started with renting a Tesla and heading to the American Girl Doll store in Century City. You wanted new clothes for your dolls and we of course splurged and got more. Ethan got some legos and dad got a new Travis Matthews hat. We met Kelly for lunch at Shake Shack, and then headed to the JW Marriott downtown where we were staying.

This was hilarious because it was really the first time you have ever sat in traffic. We sat on the 10 for a good 45 minutes and you kept asking why no one was moving. Your mom was of course getting car sick, you were asking questions, and your brother was whining. I was driving because your mom can no longer handle driving in congested areas.

Once we got to the hotel we went swimming and ordered food to to pool for a few hours. We then met Aunt Maddie and went to mexican food, El Cholo was the name of the restaurant.

Saturday we woke up and relaxed for a bit before heading to campus. We then walked around and mom showed you USC as the tailgating continued. We went to the bookstore and spent way too much money decking you out with all the gear that you see in the pictures (dad got nothing and mom wasn’t happy). After watching the marching band then come through campus, we walked over towards the stadium. We first stopped off at the National History Museum of Los Angeles because they had the shuttle Endeavor. After leaving the museum we went to the sold out game. USC was playing Washington, who at the time was I believe #2 in the country. There were 90k+ people in the stadium – more people in one place than either of you had ever seen. You handled it well (was expecting you to be overwhelmed) and we stayed for nearly the entire game. In the end Washington ended up winning by a touchdown (don’t feel bad, they played for the national championship later in the year). We then headed back to the hotel.

The next morning we got up and went to Pasadana to a park right next to the Rose Bowl and met Aunt Maddie and Justin. You guys played on the playground while we chatted with them and met their dog Thor. After a while we headed back to the hotel, packed up our things and went to the airport. It was a great trip on a number of levels – but for me the big one was the exposure for you guys to that many people, some real diversity, traffic, and some great food.

Friends

You have really cultivated a solid friend group. You have had friends over the years but seems like the last year has been different in that you all hang out not just at school but outside. Avery and Cora seem to be your besties – Sandrine, Ava, Lucy, Alexis, and probably a bunch of other names I am forgetting are also close friends. Maci in our neighborhood and you have become quite close, while you have navigated away from Ellie next door. It is a very interesting dynamic that is every-evolving.

All that said we are so happy to see you have so many good friends, and ones that (at least at this point) are respectful and sweet. You only deserve the best and so far you have surrounded yourself with such.

Layla

As I write this, Layla is about 11 years and 4 months old. For a lab that is rather old since they average about 10 years. Right now she is still in pretty good shape. She has a bunch of growths and lumps, but is still eating normally and has plenty of energy. I take her to the vet a couple times every year for a physical and get her blood taken at least once a year, and so far nothing bad has shown up.

I am writing about her because you have taken a serious liking to her over the last couple years. Not that you ever dismissed or didn’t like her, but as you have gotten older you have really connected with her and go out of your way to please her. You take her on walks around the block almost daily, you feed her about as much as I do, you bring her treats and buy her toys and you always give her a ton of pets.

I love this about you. You are so sweet and loving with her. My problem is that her time is short, and I don’t know how you are going to handle it when we have to put her down. Layla has been the dog to your mom and I well before you were born – but to be honest, Layla and I have spent the majority of time together. I trained her, I walk her, I feed her most of the time, I snuggle and kiss her and I am incredibly attached. This is not to say your mom is not involved or doesn’t love her…she just isn’t as attached or loves her as much as I do. I have always worried about how I would react when she dies – I am really going to struggle to keep it together. Now, I am more worried about you and how you will deal with it. I hate having this outlook of thinking about her death, but realistically it’s coming and perhaps not that far from now. I just want you to know how much you love her, how much she loves you, and what an incredible owner you are to her. She is so lucky to have you.

Well, as always, I am sure I have missed a million things. Next time I write to you you will be a 5th grader. I know it’s lame but I just cannot believe how fast your are growing up. Please stay sweet, please stay kind, and please love me when you read this as much as you do now.

I love you more than anything in the world.

Love, Dad

Started 4th Grade

I know it sounds weird, but yes – 4th grade. Well maybe not weird to you. But it seems so old. I think about myself in 4th grade – Franks/Fix. Those are the names of my teachers. They did a weird combined class that year so there were 60 of us in the same class. The first day of class I walked in and my girlfriend at the time Felicia Kondrat (yep, had a girlfriend), yelled out to me with a number of other girls to come sit with them. I started crying and ran out of class. This is actually a real story. My mom came to school and let me come home with her.

You were much better. You have friends that you have had for years and have acclimated quite well. Your teacher is Mrs. Schneider, and your best friend is Cora, her daughter. You see Cora every morning and you guys hug. It’s not just cute, but comforting to know that you have such a good friend.

You started only like a month ago so we will see how things go – but so far so good. You still love school and are a terrific student, always doing your homework even if you struggle with it.

Airstream Camping & Fishing

We actually did quite a bit of camping this summer in the Airstream, although not as much as we would have liked. We spent time at both North Fork and Wood River campgrounds north of Ketchum. We also went to Alturas lake with your friend Avery and their family.

We also took it to McCall for Memorial Day, and as you can see you caught some fish! Not only did you cast it, reel it in, get it off the hook – but most impressively, you cleaned it! You and I always had a deal about keeping fish, that if you wanted to keep and eat them then you had to clean them. This time around, you did it and we ate it for dinner. You are becoming a little mountain girl.

We are heading out one more time this season before we put the Airstream (Bernadette, or Bernie) for the season, but I can’t wait to make more memories with you next year and many years after camping in it.

Competitive Soccer

You started competitive soccer this year, as in you had to try out and get placed. You just kicked (pun intended) off the season and so far love it. You are playing with many of your friends that go to St. Joes. We are very early on with it, but so far you seem to love it.

Goro

You have a stuffed animal named Goro. Something tells me that when you read this you will still have him as you are inseparable. He sleeps with you every night and go with you most places. It’s a weird little monkey thing that Ethan actually bought for you as a gift. Fortunately we have not forgotten him yet, but just waiting for the night when we are away from home and didn’t remember him as it will be a rough one.

In the same vein, you guys have easily over 100 “stuffies” as you call them. You have named every single one of them and you play pretend with them all the time. It is one of the favorite activities of both you and your brother, and you do it together nearly every day.

Day-to-day

You definitely have some anxiety, but it is mild for now. Your mom has struggled with anxiety for most of her life so it’s not surprising that you have it as well. It normally comes out when you meet new people, we are doing something for the first time, when you are away from us for too long, or when mom’s anxiety kicks in and scares you (driving, for example). It’s not debilitating by any means, but it is something we are monitoring closely. We are looking for you to talk to a therapist to see if that helps. Your mom has never (at least until now) properly addressed her anxiety so my hope is that it will help her do it as well.

The anxiety, or so we think, has also lead to ticks. You have a number of ticks that have developed and new ones come up now and then. This takes the form of rolling your eyes up into your head, little coughing, little sniffles, blinking, grinding teeth, etc. This one I hate to say you got from me. I had ticks growing up but were a little different in that my main one was blinking. I noticeably blinked a lot (still do sometimes) and it was normally triggered when I was nervous or anxious. I also did (and still do) a lot of counting in my head, which I learned later on is symptom of autism. I have not been diagnosed autistic by any stretch, but a lot of my ticks were in my head and didn’t show on the outside. I don’t know if you count, but I think you might. You tell us that you can’t control the ticks and that you “have” to do them. I have been open with you about me having had them as a child and have shared some tips that helped me control them.

You have also started to push back a bit, specifically with your mom. It has begun! You guys fight about your hair the most, when she wants to style it or cut it. I am learning how to mediate as I obviously get caught in the middle, especially when I agree with you (which is a lot of the time) and being able to help you two to a resolution. You are a total daddy’s girl which also makes it harder for your mom – but I wouldn’t change it.

You are still incredibly sweet, loving, well-behaved and smart. You find so much joy in things, and your best friend is easily your brother. As you can see from the photos below you do most everything together. You guys have your fights, but for the most part play incredibly well. You are both very imaginative and will come up with completely made up games and narratives within those games, then play them out for hours.

We are so lucky to have you. You are an incredibly special child, and I can’t wait to talk to you again when you turn double digits.

I love you more than all the world.

Love, Dad

Since I am not giving this to you until you are 18, you should know by now that I am quite immature. You probably won’t get this movie reference either unless I have raised you right, but whenever I hear “niner” I think of it

Thinking about what I just said above, it just dawned on me that we are halfway through this story. I don’t mean that the story ends at 18 but rather that is when you will receive this.

I came up with this idea not so much out of needing to capture things to remember as you might think (your probably know by now that my memory isn’t great). I started it so that I could have a place to reflect on your life at that time in my life. What I mean is that I could go back and look at pictures and remember things that happened, but this allows me to reflect on these experiences in the moment in which they are occurring.

In life there are ups and downs, and even with you only having been in this world 9 years I have had a lot of them. I think back to the first posts I wrote, well before you were born (I don’t even remember what I said, and never go back and read them). The feelings I had about being a dad, the new experiences that came out of that time, the excitement and terror. But it would be impossible for me to properly reflect on that time as I write this now. What you will read there will be me at the time – a 29 year old with no kids, a low level/low stress job, having a lot of firsts like buying a house, having a dog, just 2 years in Boise and not knowing if we were staying, and in this case also about to have a baby. As I write this as a 38 year old, we are now on to our 3rd home, have two children, an executive level/high stress job, a 10 year old dog, and established in a city we will call home (barring anything crazy) until you are grown and gone.

The last 9 years for me has seen more change in it than my first 29 combined, both personally and professionally. Professionally, I have had major highs like selling Balihoo, dramatically increasing my salary, becoming an executive at 30, being part of a company raising money, part of a company going public and now at a new one on a similar trajectory where I get to run a function that will dramatically affect the bottom line, managing teams of over 250 people, etc. But also lows like dealing with stress for the first time in my life, working for people so bad that it sent me to therapy, laying off or firing over 100 people already in my career, being belittled and criticized for decisions I made, and more.

The last 9 years personally have seen the same. Highs like having two amazing and unbelievable children, being able to take our family on more trips that I can count, teaching you and Ethan to ride a bike, to ski, to fish, and learning about and experiencing new hobbies myself like mountain biking and really learning to love golf. But then lows – like managing a marriage with all the stresses these things bring, managing our lives everyday and all day, anxiety that I have never experienced before, people dying, my weight, a struggle with drinking at times, and more.

The point is this: reflection on your life from my perspective, IN THE MOMENT, is the goal of this. I will feel completely different and likely have different perspectives in 5 years when I am writing this as you turn 14. And as I reflect on us being halfway through this little present I will give you eventually, I just want you to know why I did it. I did it because life is amazing/hard/surprising/depressing and a bunch of other emotions – and they come and go at difference times. I also did it because I love you so much it causes me pain at times, and I really hope that this is something you love and cherish. I hope for all these things when you read this.

Sick little germ trap

Ok let’s move on to what is happening – the first that jumps out is that you guys are disgusting little sickened things. You, Ethan, Mom and then finally me were sick for like 3 months from early November through January. It started with you, as you picked something up from someone in your class. it happened the night before we were supposed to leave for a trip for LA in the morning to go to a USC football game and spend a couple days in the city. We woke up the following morning and, not easily as you were denying it to being, got it out of you that you weren’t feeling well. We made the quick decision (at 5am mind you) to postpone the trip to the next day and see how you felt. We were very glad we did, as the next day you were far worse. Would have been a miserable trip (however, see below for a silver lining).

Ethan was next a few days later. He developed a cough (that mom freaked herself out about as being asthma for like weeks, which was never confirmed), and while you still had a cough he got a bit worse. This lasted basically all of November.

Later in November your mom also got sick. You hear about “man flu” in which men overreact to a simple sickness – well your mom is the drama queen in our household. She was bedridden for a day and had a cough, and then was able to manage. I was able to avoid all this sickness while caring for you all full-time.

Then in mid-December, I got covid. Had not had it the entire 3 years it existed and finally got it. Fortunately, it was not bad. I felt kind of crappy for a couple days but didn’t take me down. However, your mom insisted that I quarantined. So for 8 days I stayed in the guest room, finally coming out really for the first time with you guys on Christmas morning. I had tested negative finally and got to hang. I joke that is was the best Christmas present ever, 8 days to myself in a room with a queen bed, tv, computer and full bathroom. If I had had a mini fridge I could have stayed in there forever.

While I was quarantining per your mom’s request, she got sicker than I was and was caring for you both the entire time. She tested for covid a number of times, convinced that she had it, but always tested negative as did both of you. I believe she mentally made herself sick, as it would not be the first time she had done this. I was out on Christmas and we headed to SV that afternoon after presents that morning.

Then you and Ethan both got sick again in January – and finally by February you were ok. Kind of a weird update, but the sickness caused a lot of chaos and made us miss the LA trip which we are rescheduling now for next year.

Oh, the silver lining. Well, an agency vendor of mine happened to reach out that Friday when we were supposed to leave and offered me club level seats for game 5 of the World Series the following night in Houston (playing the Phillies). Since you were sick (and after a lot of negotiation with your mother, and afterwards I caught a lot of shit for), I went to the game with a friend who had a son in Ethan’s class. Astros clinched the series that game, making it the second WS clinching game I had seen (2001 Diamondbacks was the first). I am not glad we had to cancel the LA trip, but definitely will remember that experience forever. Here is a pic:

Airstream

We bought a 2022 Airstream. Yep. My hope is that by the time you read this it is a familiar thing for you as we have gone out in it hundreds of time and you are well versed.

We used it once before winter and had to put it away – went to Ponderosa outside McCall for one night with Moya and Clint and their kids. Since then it has been sitting in a storage unit. We have about 9 camping trips planned this summer, so will have a better update at your 9.5 update.

Other Items

You read like it’s your job. You read long books and short books. You read more than anyone in your class. You love it and cannot get enough books.

We again did Wagon Days – check out the cutest picture ever below

You chose the Halloween attire again. You chose “traditional halloween costumes”. You were a pumpkin and Ethan was a vampire.

You have a new stuffed animal named Goro. You are attached to him like no other comfort toy ever.

Layla turned 10 :).

Conclusion

I cannot believe we are halfway through this journey to adulthood. Will never be able to explain how fast it goes and how incredible it is. But I can say, confidently, at this time, in this moment, and as I write this – I think you are turning out amazing. I genuinely could not ask for a better, more loving, more beautiful and caring daughter. I am so proud of you, and so excited to see what you do.

I love you more than all the world,

Love, Dad

You are 8 1/2 going on 16. I think probably most parents feel this way, and I am also sure that you are not as dramatic as most girls your age. In fact, I know it. But, you have discovered selfies in a big way as you can see evidenced in the photos below.

A lot has happened these last 6 months, so let’s jump in with some high level items:

• Visited Tita in palm Springs
• You made your 5th (or 6th. can’t keep track) trip to Maui
• You graduated 2nd grade!
• You started 3rd grade!
• Dad got a new job
• You are finally good enough at soccer that’s it’s not painful to sit and watch, and you scored your first goal!
• Your cousins all came and visited for 4 days
• You mom and I celebrated our 13 year anniversary
• We visited Sun Valley many, many times
• …just to name a few

School

You are officially a 3rd grader! You finished the year with Mrs Zito, and learned over the summer that you will have Mrs. Patrick for 3rd grade. Can’t remember which of your friends are in her class vs the other, but some of your friends include: Avery, Alexis, Lucy, Paytin, Norah, Cora and a bunch more I am probably missing. You still love school, and you are testing at a 3rd/4th grade level in both reading and math (the only two you were tested in so far).

You began 3rd grade middle of August, and you were so excited to return. You and Ethan are at the same school for the first time and you couldn’t be happier about it.

You absolutely love to read as well. You read dozens of books over the summer. There were plenty of times when I would get out of bed in the morning thinking you were still sleeping, only to pop my head in and finding you in your chair with your light on reading. You had been up for some time already.

Art is still your favorite – and when asked that is what you want to do for a living when older. We even talked about college the other day and you said you want to major in Art and Minor in Art as well. You also said that you are going to stay and live in Boise forever with us – your mom is pretty excited about that prospect…I am on the fence :).

Trips

As always, we went to Sun Valley for the 4th of July. We stayed for about a week, which was the limit before your mom was on the edge of physically attacking Papa. We also went a number of other times. We fished, biked, camped at Lola Creek, went to Stanley, had great meals, did waterslides, played in your treehouse and much more. You guys are enjoying it more and more each time we go now.

We also went and saw Tita over your spring break. Your friend Paytin and here family were there, as was my friend Jeff and his family. We did the Living Desert, had In-n-Out, did pool time and more. We were going to get together with the other families, but unfortunately you got pretty sick so you and I spent most of the trip having you rest. Took you to urgent care and we spent 4 hours for them to tell us you were negative for everything. This was still during prominent covid cases so that added another fun dynamic. Overall though, to be honest I enjoyed it. Your mom and Ethan went out and did activities to keep him from going nuts and we just hung out and read and watched shows. With the exception of you not feeling well, it was great to get the quality time together.

We took another trip to Maui, and the big note this time was that it was the most enjoyable trip we had all been on. This was due to a few factors: you can both ride on planes without assistance (just need tablets/coloring stuff), getting you to sleep is easy nowadays, you can dress and feed yourselves, you can play independent of us and you love to play with each other. But, the biggest change is that you can swim! No longer are we having to worry about you sinking like a stone. We went to the pool everyday, and you jumped right in. We would come in with you, and also sometimes read a book while you swam. As you guys get older these trips become more and more fun.

It wasn’t a trip for us, but your cousins also came and visited – and this was by far the highlight of your summer. You were so excited to see them and they all stayed at the house with us. You had sleepovers with them every night, and played with them all day. We are planning on meeting them again next summer in Monterey to do the aquarium.

Soccer

You are also a soccer star! Well, that might be a bit generous. You are getting better, and you are pretty fast though. We are working on the aggressiveness, but your ball handling is actually pretty solid. You are hesitant when on the field about going after the ball, but so is basically everyone on your team. You play on a team with a bunch of St. Joe’s girls that you are friends with and it is easily your favorite activity (to your mom’s chagrin as you like it more than dance).

You also scored your first goal! The part that was so cool was that before we left to go to the game we were at home and you, out of the blue, said to me “Dad, I am going to score a goal today”. Then you went out and did it, early in the game even. For a team that scored maybe a handful of goals all season (as a team you didn’t win a single game), it was cool that you were able to get one. You also handled it like you had been there before. A lot of the girls on other teams, and some on yours, when they score they run around screaming or doing cartwheels and shit. You scored and ran back to the middle of the field for the kickoff as your team patted you on the back on the way. Couldn’t have been more proud of you.

Family

Figured it would be worth introducing a section on the rest of us as well moving forward.

Ethan finished up preschool and just started Kindergarten with you! You are both so excited. We looked at Riverstone for him as well as you are each a little different, but he wanted to be at school with you, which we couldn’t deny.

Mom is preparing for having both of you at school all day as this will be the first time. You go from 8-3, so there is a 7 hour block for her to fill. You would think this would be something exciting for her, but instead she is already missing you guys being around. We also hit 13 years this year married – which is just insane.

Big news for me is that I took a new job. I mentioned in my last post that I would start looking, and I recently accepted a role with a company called Shiftkey as the VP, Growth Marketing. It is a tech company that matches part time nurses with facilities that need them through an app and software. My job is to get both more nurses and facilities on the platform. I was at Vacasa for almost 4.5 years, and am excited to get back to the tech world.

Other than all that – business as usual. You are still incredibly sweet, love your brother more than anything, are an incredible student and an even better daughter.

I love you more than all the world.

Love, Dad

It has been a big 6 months. The world is returning to normal – or at least the new normal. There was a new variant after my last post called omicron, but it has since passed. You and your brother are now fully vaccinated! Really fun too, taking you to do that…

You are thriving in the second grade. Reading every day, and a model student. You have Mrs. Zito and you love her. You are also still very into art, but taking a liking to soccer as well. Just look at these pics and you will see how much older you now look, it is incredible.

We went to Tucson for Thanksgiving and stayed with Boppie. Aunt Maddie and Nonnie also came down, and we had a great time. We went to Colossal Caves, the Sonoran Desert Museum and spent a lot of time at Boppie’s house just checking out the desert and wildlife. We spent a week down there and were all ready to come back at the end.

The big new though, the highlight of the last 6 months, and hopefully you remember it because my god it was expensive was… DISNEYLAND! We spent 3 days at the parks.

We decided it was time. You were nearly eight and your brother was five, and thought that it would be great ages for your first experience. Not only did we take you, but we surprised you on Christmas Day with the trip. We had you do a scavenger hunt with clues (you had to read them to Ethan) that eventually ended back in the formal living room where we gave you gifts with Disney shirts and swag and let you know we were going. We left January 3rd.

You were still on Christmas break so you didn’t miss any school. We got there Monday night and then did Disneyland the 4th, California Adventure the 5th, and then both parks on the 6th and flew home that night. We stayed at the Grand Californian Hotel which was attached to California Adventure.

I don’t think I can list all the rides we went on, but let’s just say we covered almost all of them. Your favorite ride, to my surprise and delight, was Space Mountain. We must have gone on it 3 or 4 times while there. ED loved Splash Mountain and Autotopia. We also had dinner one night at the Blue Bayou and watched the Pirates of the Caribbean ride go as we ate dinner. Corn dogs were a popular meal, as were the Mickey waffles each morning for breakfast. One afternoon/evening we hung by the pool and ordered food to our chairs while you both played.

We brought a stroller along to haul the two of you, and the first day one of the wheels popped and lost all its air. I took it to the stroller distribution place there at Disneyland, but the air pump was broken, which meant we (me) just had to push it the whole time with a flat tire.

You and I went on Indiana Jones together by ourselves as Ethan was not tall enough, and we were both underwhelmed. We also went on the ferris wheel in California Adventure, and I almost passed out as my fear of heights had grown significantly and I didn’t know it.

It was an amazing, expensive and exhausting trip.

We have been skiing a lot together and you continue to improve. I am hoping by next year that we can just head up and I won’t have to worry about you anymore (still have some work to do with Ethan).

On a personal note, my company (Vacasa) went public in December! I even got to be on the big screen in Times Square (actually twice, and yes that is Layla – couldn’t fit the whole family so had to choose). Now that we are public, I have started to entertain new job opportunities as I don’t really have a desire to work for a public company.

You are still just as loving, caring and wonderful as ever – I hope it never changes. You have a ton of friends, get along with almost everyone and are incredibly mannerly. Couldn’t ask for more from an eight year old.

I love you more than you will ever know.

Love, Dad

We went to Sun Valley (a bunch), Palm Desert, Maui and probably other places I am forgetting. We are doing much more, for the first time in nearly two years. We are not out of the woods yet – Covid is still real and you are still not vaccinated. But mom and dad are vaccinated, and we are getting back to the life we love, even though we are not there yet.

Funny story. We had plans to go to Maui in April of this year (2021). It was going to be the first trip we had done since January of 2020 due to the covid outbreak. Being blunt, as I normally am, your mother and I see this whole thing a bit differently. If you can imagine this – she is overboard cautious and I am likely underboard (is that a word?) concerned. She is quite scared of this thing while I don’t see it as a serious threat, more like a cold/flu that you should try to protect against and be aware of, but not something to change the world for. We will see how this opinion ages in time :).

Anyway – we had Maui planned and both really wanted to go, as did both of you. Your mom was reticent if we were not vaccinated, which I can understand but would not have stopped me. We continued to converse about it for weeks. Finally she came to the conclusion that if we were not vaccinated that we could not travel. I of course would respect her wishes, but also realllllly want to go.

The Saturday morning following this decision I woke up and decided I needed to solve for it. I left early (after brining you guys your hot chocolate that you get every Saturday morning – you also get donuts every Sunday), and went to the pharmacies. We were not yet eligible to get the vaccine as it was reserved only for those that were 65+ or had illnesses that warranted it. But you could go to the various places and get on wait lists, and if someone didn’t show they would give you a ring and you could come get the dose so it didn’t go to waste (it was time sensitive).

I went to 8 pharmacies. All 8 put me on a list with very little expectations around calling. But, around 3:30 that day, I got a call from Fred Meyer up on Federal Way. They had two doses that were going to go un-used, but they needed to be used by 4pm. I told your mom, we, almost literally, threw you both in the car, and headed up. We got our first dose and were guaranteed our second while there. It gave your mom the solace she needed to get on a plane and fly to Maui (btw, for the last two years nearly it has been required to wear masks on planes, and many other places, which is why you are wearing them in the pictures).

As you can see in the pictures below, we had a blast in Maui. In August, after we and Tita were fully vaccinated, we also went to Palm Desert for her 90th birthday. Sun Valley and McCall have also been places we have been going as my company is still work from home and will be likely forever – so we go vacation and I can just work from wherever we are.

Buggy, you are becoming quite the skier. Spent a lot of time with you over the winter and even after your 7th birthday as it was a long season, and you are improving each day. Normally you and I just go up. We can ski green runs together, and I am always amazed at your progress.

You are a beautiful girl. Still as sweet as ever. You are also starting to develop your personality. You are beginning to come into your own. I love that, but also makes me sad as I know I will lose some of the attachment as that occurs. It’s perfectly normal and healthy – but it still saddens me a bit.

I also worry about how working from home will impact all of us and the expectations that are set. Prior to covid I would be in the office after I dropped you at school (8am) and home by 6:30pm. This new work from home setup is far more preferable for seeing you and Ethan, but I worry that since I can see you more and in between meetings, that when I leave it will seem like I work more than I did, which is obviously not the case. This is a new thought I have had recently so just wanted to capture it here – I hope this does not come to fruition.

I cannot tell you how much you mean to me. You are the light that fills my day. When I cannot sleep, travel or have anxiety/restlessness – you are the factor that calms me. I just think of you. While you never know how things are going to work out, and I know that we will have our issues in the future just based on how life evolves, I hope we always stay close. You are my rock. I don’t know how else to say it. You will never know the impact and happiness that you brought to my life. I hope you just keep being you, because you are amazing.

I love you more than you will ever know.

Love, Dad

I feel it and say it in a lot of these posts – but the fact that you’re seven is not easy to accept. You are walking, talking, eating, spelling, reading, doing math, socializing, having your own opinions, learning, trying new things, pushing back, questioning, get sad, get angry, get happy, get ambitious – and so many other things. You are really a human coming into your own, and as your dad who has seen it the whole way it is never lost on me just how amazing it is, and you are.

As you can see from some of these pics, you are coming into your own. You have a little attitude about you at times now, although it is only with us and it is still incredibly well mannered. You are taking more risks. We see this in the activities and sports that you do, as well as the social situations that you enter into that you would not have previously. You are still an amazing big sister – one that Ethan can always count on and you spend so much time helping him learn who he is and how to be.

You will notice that in these pictures that you are, for the most part, around anyone other than us. That is because Covid-19 is still a thing, and the world is pretty much shut down in 2021. There is a vaccine for adults now, and you mom and I will get it as soon as we can. But as far as kids go there is nothing yet. Until that happens, there isn’t a whole lot we can do. I really find it interesting to think about how history books years from now will reflect back on this event as it is unpronounced in our world’s history.

As a result, that will make this post a bit boring. You are still in school, and you are doing fantastic – testing above your grade level in every category. You have to wear a mask every day, and keep distance between you and your friends. To this point (fingers crossed) we have not got covid. It is a weird time, but I am grateful that you are at St. Joe’s and not in public school as you are able to stay in during a very integral time in your learning and development.

In the latter half of your first grade year you are really into reading. You don’t care for math as much, but are still quite good at it. You want to be an artist when you grow up, and are producing more pictures/paintings at home and school than we can find a place for.

While this will be a short post, please don’t see it as a boring or non-consequential one. You are thriving – that’s the bottom line. You are kind, empathetic, sweet, happy and caring. I know it sounds lame to say this…but you are perfect. Sometimes that leads to not saying a lot.

I cannot wait for your next b-day and to update you on the way the world has shifted, as right now it seems to happen daily.

I love you more than you will ever know.

Love, Dad